It’s candy cane season, and I’ve decided not to put up a tree this year. I say it’s because of the exorbitant cost of the trees that are brought down from New England to sell in New York City, but the truth is, I’m just not in the mood to unpack all the memories held in each Christmas ball and bauble.
But it’s not because I lack holiday spirit, far from it. The smell of pine makes me think of Christmas, so each time I walk past a line of bundled trees being sold on the sidewalk by a person who looks like an Off-broadway actor playing a tree salesperson from Vermont, I pick up lost branches, bring them home, and put them in vases around my apartment. I’ve even unwrapped the bar of pine smelling soap I bought at the New York Botanical Garden Gift Shop when I saw the Holiday Train Show. Now, even my bathroom smells like Christmas.
I did hang my small collection of bird ornaments on a gold wire tree frame I found on my building’s recycling table. I also set up the green, vintage ceramic tree with white lights and put it next to the Santa Claus that was given as a Christmas present from Uncle Robert decades ago. It’s all festive and simple.
Still, I’ve been nostalgic for an unrealistic Hallmark holiday. I think many of us are feeling something like this right now because things are hard. People are dragging, and the desire to sleep for days is strong. But so is the desire for togetherness. Even if it’s not exactly who we long for – a mother, a lover, a child, an old friend – we want to be with what feels like family and all the things that fill our senses with love and joy.
Prompt: What senses prime your brain for the season?
Last week, I went to a gathering in Prospect Heights where twenty not-yet-friends gathered for shared food and showing and telling of creative projects in process. At the end of the night we’d become a group of fast friends. I brought my famous cranberry nut loaf to share and was happy to see people chomping on it throughout the evening. I didn’t make a second loaf for myself, which I usually do, because I still have a pumpkin apple loaf in the freezer from Thanksgiving.
But today, I’m thinking about making gingerbread because I want to eat it with heavy cream simmered with cardamom and sugar, then drizzled with maple syrup. I want to add gingerbread to the smell of pine.
Still in search of togetherness and the holiday spirit, I went to a party the other night on the Upper East Side where college friends filled a cozy lounge overlooking the bright and sparkling city. There we hugged and laughed and drank and overstayed our welcome. A few of us went for a nightcap afterwards and then, on our way home, got turned around and ended up in Queens. Once back in Manhattan, I decided to walk to the next subway station instead of Uber-ing uptown with friends. It was around 1:15 AM, and I walked the quiet streets with a few late shift workers, slowly patrolling police cars, empty taxis, and a couple walking their dog. After many long blocks in heels, I turned and saw a six-story high glittery circle of neon clovers and stars and the sun and the moon with a bright blue and gold zodiac burst in the center. I paused and stared up at the Dior's Carousel of Dreams at Saks like a happy kid on Christmas morning. It was the perfect gift I’d not expected.
Prompt: What small surprise brought you child-like delight this past week?
I’m inspired to put some orange peel and cinnamon and cloves in a pot of water on the stove, turn on the YouTube fireplace, and bake some gingerbread while I write into the evening hours. Maybe I’ll stay up late enough to catch a glimpse of Santa.
Here’s to delicious moments!
Warmly,
Tiffany
Wow, just reading your post summoned up holiday spirit. I want, maybe need, the Dior Carousel of Dreams on my bedroom ceiling! And ginger bread is a great idea. Not sure about the YouTube fireplace-- Hope your holiday is bright indeed!
I've been burning my "snowy pine" wax melts daily while working on writing projects. I love that Christmas tree smell, too, but am also not feeling very Christmas-y. No tree here, no holiday lights, and no wreath on the door, but I still enjoy a good nostalgic Christmas movie!